Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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