Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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