I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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