What a fucking waste of an outfit
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
