Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
