I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize