He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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