if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
