Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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