so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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