you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
