That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
