yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
