i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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