So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
