hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
