Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
