I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
