Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
