Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
