Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
