Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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