Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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