Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
