oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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