I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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