i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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