Your tits are I can't wait for
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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