you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
