I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
