I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
