Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
