thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
