so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
