why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
