you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize