It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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