Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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