morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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