I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
