forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
