Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize