Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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