We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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