this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
