she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize