At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
