woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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