omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
