I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
