I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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