I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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