adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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