We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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