He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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