he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
