she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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