Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
