Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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