new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
