what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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