because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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